The Jaundiced Eye...

Well, the New Year is shaping up just like the Old One….most of you who stopped smoking are puffing again, those who started dieting have stopped again, the would be teetotallers have succumbed again, George Doubya and Tiny Tony are back to war, instead of jaw, jaw (as illustrious Winston, RIP, would have said), and we have convicted child abusers here in Ireland doing community service……..

Poor old George Doubya is feeling the heat in the U.S. as he prepares his mighty armed forces to bomb and kills thousands of Iraqui people in 2003 while at home nearly 4,000 people on Death Row await judicial execution. We are lucky that George is such a moral man and only put 150 of his own citizens to death while he was Governor in Texas. We have to be understanding and know that George looks on the death penalty as a deterrent to crime - no matter that research has shown it is not - and no matter that the U.S. is the only country in the world who executed a mentally ill man last year as well as three minors under eighteen - the death penalty was certainly a deterrent for them. They won’t offend again, no sir!

George is not too pleased with the outgoing Republican Governor of Illinois who emptied Death Row and let 167 people live last week. Why? Governor Ryan described capital punishment as ‘arbitrary’, ‘capricious’ and ‘immoral’ and said that he had no option after he knew of the several cases where innocent people were sentenced to death. While Mr. Ryan was a late convert to morality on this issue (he had, before becoming a Governor, voted to bring back the death penalty) we have to accept he was somewhat a slow learner on this issue.

In his speech to law Students last week, Mr. Ryan said his conscience would not let him duck what he felt to be his responsibility. Governor Ryan stated that the United States is unique in the Western world in its use of capital punishment. “We are partners in death with several Third World countries - even Russia has called a moratorium” he said. Mr. Ryan’s late conversion was welcomed throughout the world by Human Rights organisations and Amnesty, all of whom called on the United States to change its policy. We are all certain that George Doubya will not turn the deaf ear to these appeals.

We know he has good and valid reasons to turn the Deaf Ear to those other World Leaders (apart, of course, from Tiny Tony) who don’t favour bombing Iraq to bits. Wouldn’t you think that the President of TVs ‘The West Wing’ - some would say the ‘real’ President - actor Martin Sheen and all those Vietnam Vets would know better than to be marching round and calling for Peace? George Doubya just cannot understand the mentality of thousands of U.S. citizens chanting ‘no blood for oil’ etc. as they hold public demonstrations. Aren’t they lucky to be living in the most democratic and most human rights loving country in the world? A country whose President is kind enough and unselfish enough to tell the rest of the world how to live? Some people never realise how lucky they are!

There are some people in this country who are now feeling extremely lucky that if they are convicted of child pornagraphy abuse they will be sentenced to working out in the community for a couple of hundred hours, if they hand over a few quid. This wonderful decision of our Courts this week has turned on the tap of sympathy and kindness for the family of the abuser - of course, we don’t know the families of the abused because they have never appeared on television to show us how to live nicely.

Perhaps the victims of this pornagraphic abuser are not from Calcutta? And how will the €40,000 help the abused of Calcutta? Hopefully, it will save some lives and possibly repair some. Will there be a Public Relations inspired photo opportunity as the cheque is handed over to charity? So all you abusers out there make sure as you pay with your credit card for your downloaded child pornography and that you don’t spend all of your money on perverted self-gratification, keep some for the Court. Just think of all the opportunities you could have while doing community service!

And what kind of community services would be appropriate for those who search for, enjoy, and pay for child pornography? Picking up litter? At parks and playgrounds? Cleaning village streets? Supervising a Youth Club? Maybe the Judge will let us know what community service the child abuser should do - are we silly to feel we need to protect our children? And as I write, so far (Friday, 11 a.m.) we have not heard the golden tones of Marvellous Michael, our Minister for Justice, who so kindly speaks to the country once, twice, sometimes three times a day, giving us the benefit of his wisdom in his dulcet tones. No doubt our Justice Minister will speak to us before the day is out and tell us what we are to think, and how wrong we are to be critical of a Court decision. Mind, Michael wouldn’t want to forget his plan to hold a referendum if he himself doesn’t like the decision of the Courts regarding the rights of children born in this country. It must be grand to be the Minister for Justice when you can arrange to have referenda and to change the laws whenever you don’t like them. Isn’t it a pity for poor Michael that sometimes in a referendum the voters don’t do what they should do!

It is very gratifying to see that accountants all over the world have learned from the woes and ills of Enron, AIB, the various Tribunals, etc. This is demonstrated by the international firm Pricewaterhouse Coopers who have instructed its staff carrying out audits to ask themselves a series of ‘ethical questions’ before making decisions. And just in case their staff don’t know what an ethical question is they are telling them, e.g., ‘Does it feel right?’ ….’Is it legal?’…… ‘Can you sleep at night?’ The ten questions are part of a new “code of conduct” given by the firm to its employees as a response to the recently exposed corporate scandals. PwC, for short, are auditors to some of the largest Irish firms and came in for severe criticism last year with the Allfirst/AIB scandal. This particular scandal was a nine day wonder in the media and it is not surprising that Question No. 8 of the ethical questions is ‘How would it look in the newspapers?’

The firm came under strong criticism in the US for its part in a number of financial scandals that rocked America. Poor Sam DiPiazza, the Chief Executive, said they had had a ‘trial by fire’. ‘We have been belittled and isolated. I have not enjoyed constantly defending the purpose and integrity of our profession.’ I wonder do our poor Irish accountants feel the same way? Poor Sam, poor Pricewaterhouse - last year they only had revenues of $13.8 BILLION!!!!

I wonder would Pricewaterhouse pass their ten Ethical Questions on to our Government and politicians in general? Our poor politicians really do get a bad press at times - they should start asking themselves the ethical question ‘How would it look in the newspapers’ - but then maybe the reason they don’t ask themselves this is because we have a tame, well mannered media in this country? And an equally tame, amnesiac electorate?