AND ANOTHER THING:

Went over to Coventry recently to visit my ancient brother and his wife and to drink some of his whiskey. He has plenty or maybe I should say he had plenty. Anyhow, when I was there I decided I would treat myself to a new pair of trousers. I was astounded to find that my girth had expanded far beyond what I thought acceptable. I said to myself - Boy, if this carry-on continues the next person to make your trousers will be the man who makes the tent for Duffy’s Circus. And so back home again and the wearing of the Hair-Shirt as far as eating is concerned. Also a new pair of runners and tracksuit and I’m back on the road again. Three miles per day is the task I set myself and at the beginning it’s not easy. But I’m young and I’ll get used to it. I think.

AND ANOTHER THING:

Presenting a radio show can sometimes become boring but mostly it’s good fun. In a way it’s not unlike writing this column. You have to try your damndest to think of something to say or indeed to write. Just recently I had the good luck to interview Fr. Pearce Mullin before he headed off for Japan. Pearce is a family friend for many years and it’s always good to have a chat with him. In the course of our conversation he told me that he had been fishing that very day on the shores of Lough Eske for alpine salmon or ‘Char’ as they are known locally. From what I have gathered over the years I have come to the conclusion that they must be the strangest of creatures. Perhaps some kind reader would write a wee bit about them for us. Anyway, this column would like to wish Fr. Pearce a safe journey to Japan and look forward to the Big 25th celebration that is not too far off.

AND ANOTHER THING:

Although you try your best to ignore all the carry-on at the tribunals there are times that you find your blood boiling at the antics of some politicians and high flying business types. I am no barrister or solicitor but it seems to me that the penalty for perjury is a thing of the past, except maybe for you and me. Michael Lowry and Ray Burke, both former ministers, don’t forget, told so many ridiculous stories that at one stage the judge had to reprimand the public gallery for laughing. The public had all the right in the world to laugh, sure isn’t it a bloody circus? And what is going to happen to these boys, people might ask? The answer is very simply nothing! Look at Charlie Haughey.

A couple of months ago he was at death’s door when there was a possibility that he might be asked a few hard questions. Now that that possibility has been removed he is enjoying life on holiday in the South of France. That is how holy Ireland treat the big-knob crooks. Not the same sauce for the goose as is for the gander in these cases.

Staying with politics and at the time of writing the Dail is in uproar over allegations made by Independent TD Tom Gildea from Glenties against former Justice Minister Nora Owen. I hope to God that these pictures don’t get out of the country or we will be the laughing stock of Europe and maybe further afield. You would not see the likes of what goes on in that place in the funny house.

Then, incredibly, Tom Gildea withdrew his allegations and apologised. Twice. Surely to God there must be more suitable jobs for some of these people than the ones they are in. Where do we get them? The only good to come out of it was the fact that it awakened the Cean Chomairle from his slumbers. Then again maybe he should have been left where he was in the land of nod. It suits him better!

AND ANOTHER THING:

I’m sure I read somewhere there that there is to be just one ‘Times’ for the month of December. Good news surely for hard-pressed scribes. It’ll give us a chance to recharge our batteries for the new year. A sort of sharpening the pencil as we target our next victim. Of course at this time of year one is expected to relax the attacks as it’s supposed to be the season of peace and goodwill. Peace and goodwill my ass!

The gloves are off and they are staying off as far as this boy is concerned. I for one cannot abide the person who will go out of their way to wish you a happy Christmas when you know well that the same person would drive the dagger into your back to the hilt. Just you wait and see how often it happens this time around.